(11:17 PM) A little too not over you:
TO HELL W TRNGS
(11:18 PM) CHRISTABEL.!:
TO HELL WITH SCOLDINGS
(11:18 PM) A little too not over you:
TO HELL WITH SCHOOL
(11:19 PM) CHRISTABEL.!:
TO HELL WITH OVERDUE HOMEWORK
(11:19 PM) A little too not over you:
TO HELL,
(11:20 PM) A little too not over you:
WITH (I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE SAYING THIS) SEASONS
(11:20 PM) CHRISTABEL.!:
yes.
(11:20 PM) A little too not over you:
like i know i shouldn't be saying that, but it's uncontrollable
K, sorry i started the post like that and i shouldn't have said the last 'to hell' of the convo but it's what i really feel now.
I know that's totally not nicole's style with her no-vulgar-policy and the amount of 'hell's i use may count as vulgar but yeah it's uncontrollable.
Netball has been a white lie to me from the start.
The teacher-in-charge saw my height and bluffed me, saying i was supposed to be in Netball when i wanted to joined softball.
I appealed into RV through Netball and was damn envious of everyone that had a chance to go through all the different CCA trials while i was busy training for c'div'08 's seasons. At that point of time, I wanted to join either dance (which i knew couldn't like obviously D:), concert band, or volleyball? But, I didn't have a choice.
But i never did regret playing for c'div'08 as it was so fun with all the team talks and trainings with you guys, life, was never a bore with trik and sarah.
The MGS match was the best match ever and until now i still live by it and believe strongly that team spirit on court is of utmost importance and is one of the best feelings anyone can feel in their lifetime.
Up till now, i haven't felt it again, and although i really want to feel that team spirit on court, i know, that most likely, i won't feel like once again.
I don't even feel for matches like how i felt it last year in c'div'08 and like what i always tell chris, the feeling is gone/lost.
"Rekindle New Passion", was what mk said to the bdiv year 4 team.
I've been trying to do that, cos clearly, after playing for c'div'08 's seasons, I've gotten quite sick of netball.
1. The numerous number of trainings, eg. 5-6 times a week of 7 DAYS?!
2. The fact the trainings never fail to make me feel useless as all i do is stand there, catch the ball, shoot. I can't even move and mp will yell at me and it has become a bore.
today i told Peilynn, we want to ged out of seasons and hate netball now because we're not playing and enjoying real netball. We're playing mp's style of netball and we are playing according to what and how she wants us to play. we're like chess pieces, moving wherever the player moves us too. but we're the chess pieces, and she's the player.
On Friday, she said, " Okay, you guys shall play real netball that you guys enjoy and haven't played for a long time."
I was thinking: Will she contradict herself like she normally does?
and chris was also afraid to play her own style of netball as in mp's eyes, how we play netball is wrong.
So I've always wanted to move as a shooter so i moved and true enough, she yelled at me not to move.
See how she contradicts herself? and it's also why i dislike Netball now.
We've gotten this far, we won champs in our zone, we have got a straight win so far, but along the way, i think i have forgotten how to enjoy the beautiful sport. it has been all about winning winning and more winning.
I forgot what I've been fighting for, i forgot what Netball really is.
I believe everyone esp. cg and pei just want to ged outta Nationals because of the hectic training schledule + the never-ending pile of workload + my countless tuitions, but we all just don't want to lose.
Well, no one has the best of the both worlds and although i want us to ged nationals top 4, i kinda wish it would all end, RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW.
-Make me fall in love with you once again-
Saturday, March 28, 2009
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